Total "Cuck"heads

   Voters and members of the American white supremacist right, otherwise known as the Republican party, have two vivid terms of derision for those they perceive as being soft 'n squishy liberals: we are "snowflakes" and "cucks." The former slight ridicules hyper-sensitivity; the latter one mocks a (symbolically) castrated man.
   As a soft 'n squishy liberal, I hereby happily adopt the terms as my own. I am proud to be a snowflake. (I am unique!)
   In return, I offer this term for the white supremacist right, in all its arrogant ignorance: "Dumb Fucks."  
   I'm having a T-shirt made up: "Better a Hot Cuck Than a Dumb Fuck."
   Look--I'm a gay man, and I've lived a long time. (I turned sixty this week. Gifts gladly welcomed.) Since puberty, I've studied the "straight" American male--especially of the Dumb Fuck variety--in all his glory and folly. Early on I studied them for signs of danger: they are an unpredictable and violent sort, especially when it comes to those they perceive as weak. (To the Dumb Fucks, gay males are ipso facto weak, a confusion of "gay" and "effeminate"--and "effeminate" and "weak"--that has no basis in reality, not that reality matters a whit to those imbeciles.) Later I studied them because... well, because I just couldn't believe how fucking dumb they were. (I am excepting and exempting, here, all non-Dumb-Fuck heterosexual men, many of whom comprise a swath of my friends 'n family circle.)
   After a teeny-tiny majority of Americans elected the Dumb-Fuck-in-Chief on Nov. 8, some of the country's Dumb Fucks cheerily made their presence known. They spray-painted swastikas about the place, screamed racially charged epithets from truck windows, and generally comported themselves like ill-behaved morons. (Hate-watch groups tracked nearly a thousand instances of hate speech and hate crimes in the fortnight after the election.) No sportsmanship, here; gloating is the order of the day, and attack is the new black. (Attacking blacks is the new new black.)
   Of course, Dumb Fucks that they are, some got caught and prosecuted, the fucking Dumb Fucks. Poor things: they saw the Dumb-Fuck-in-Chief livin' large during the campaign, breaking rules with impunity. (Taxes? What taxes?) So they tried the same--and quickly learned that the long arm of the law applies itself more liberally to non-billionaire rebels.
   But this is of little surprise. American Dumb Fucks proudly parade their ignorance. Autodidactic self-betterment? Courageous self-examination and amended behavior when necessary? That's for the snowflake "elites." Better to be unlettered, unlearned, superciliously stupid. Dumb Fucks wear cluelessness as a badge of honor, and a sorry badge it is. Unable to parse the simplest concepts, incapable of applying even rudimentary critical thinking, they're dupes for phony news, snake-oil conspiracy peddlers, and long cons like the Dumb-Fuck-in-Chief-elect. (If the Dumb Fucks think he has their back--oh, the pain they're gonna feel.)
      The great secret of the American Dumb-Fuck "straight" male is the terrible shame he harbors about what how little he is. I'm talking not about appendage size (though he is, often), but about his presence in the world. He beats his chest and shouts vulgarities, all the while knowing he is nothing. The more the bluster, the smaller the man.
   During the campaign, a videotape from twelve years ago showed the Republican Dumb Fuck candidate bragging about grabbing women's hoo-has. In doing so, he appeared breathtakingly puny. That he made this gloat to a man two decades his junior just made the whole seamy thing seem that much more pathetic.
   And this is the man the Dumb Fucks elevate as their role model.
   Hey--wanna make a Dumb Fuck mad? If he flips you off on the road--laugh. It drive 'em insane. I had to stop doing it years ago. It so enraged the raging men that they became truly dangerous. Flip 'em off? Sure. That's just chest-beating across the lanes. But laugh? It pokes the raw spot of their terrible secret shame. Laugh at a Dumb Fuck, he's liable to kill you. (Dumb Fucks, of course, carry guns, because why have a fair fight? Powerless men need powerful weapons.)
   So, yeah. Call me a "snowflake." Whatever. Call me a "cuck." It's water off this duck's back.
   Because here's the thing. The Dumb Fucks will have a moment when they'll feel they're in the driver's seat: Jan. 20, 2017, when the Dumb-Fuck-elect is sworn in. Soon enough, however, it will penetrate the fog of their thick brains that, like the rest of us, they've been taken for a good, long ride.
   Who's the fuckin' cuck then?